Redeemed.

Lethargic in a nest of silent suffering

I long to curl into myself and disappear

But the demons in my mind

Creep closer, draw nearer

Exiled inside my existence I am suspended

Immobilized above demise below prosperity

A blurry reflection of myself in a mirror

My fragmented, imagined version of clarity

Slithering snake versus lionhearted lamb

Behind my eyes two forces strife

Cruel adversary versus dulcet liberator

The seed of evil versus the bread of life

Sin’s wages paid and darkness beaten

False security overcome; I’m redeemed

Sight to the spiritually blind is restored

Don’t be afraid, just believe.

Victorious, my savior lifts every burden and blur

Despite the weight of daily deception

Battles are momentary; Salvation is eternal

Don’t bury his sacrifice under perception

Creeping closer, drawing nearer to my heart

is the realization that I’m loved despite my flaws

Answer him when he knocks on your door

Do not ignore him when he calls

He says, “lay you life at my feet

My yoke is easy and my burdens light

Pick up your cross and follow me.”

Accept and receive spiritual sight.

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“Yes”

Yes
by Coldplay

When it started we had high hopes
Now my back’s on the line
My back’s on the ropes
When it started we were alright
But night makes a fool of us in the daylight

Yeah we were dying of frustration
Saying “Lord lead me not into temptation”
But it’s not easy when she turns you on
Sin stay gone

If you’d only, if you’d only say yes
Whether you will’s anybody’s guess
God only, God knows I’m trying my best
But I’m just so tired of this loneliness

So, up they picked me by the big toe
I was held from the rooftop, then they let go
Dizzily screaming
Let the windows down
As I crumble to the ground

If you’d only, if you’d only say yes
Whether you will’s anybody’s guess
God only, God knows she won’t let me rest
But I’m just so tired of this loneliness

I have become so tired of this loneliness

A Flying Waltz

The ascent is slow.

The sun radiates from our cheeks and our hearts
The Lord doth not will us to be apart
Knots are tied between shared time and space
You and I are something that could never be replaced

Paradoxically frozen and warm and complete
We are free to waltz to the Lord's perfect beat
One, and two three we are dancing together
Reflecting our father in heaven forever

The descent is instant.

A kiss couldn't even begin to describe
the moment the freckles on our noses align
All good things have come from above
I think we're gonna get along just fine, my love

Dear Atlas,

Keep me close; never let me go

The more you leave the less I know

If you’re here to stay; phantom or a dream

Are you my fabrication; are you all that you seem?

I need your air close to my lips

to remind me oxygen’s at my fingertips

or else I might forget to inhale

and let your intrinsic breath grow stale

You need it as much as I

How selfish of me to steal and pry

You traded your love in return for the world

I guess that’s what happens when you fall for a girl

Please don’t believe you must hold up the sky

Just holding my hand makes me feel I could fly.

a sonnet for my savior

if  you're  good  at  something  never  do  it  for  free
death   was    the    price   he   paid   to   save    me
and  for  what?  so  i  could flounder around  aimlessly?
prison   door   stands   open   but  i  ignore  the   key
the  punishment  is  just- i  don't  deserve   liberation
the   same   is  true  of   every   tongue   and   nation
every   mistake  a   product   of   a   doomed   creation
we  did  this  to  ourselves; there's   no  justification
Jesus broke  our chains  yet we  choose to live  deceived
a vicious cycle of lies broken the moment we're  redeemed
believe  he  died  for you;  you don't  have to be  alone
all of this is possible because  God sits on  the  throne
live your life sanctified, don't let his death be in vain
and be thankful that you weren't the Lamb that was  slain

a dance with the great I Am

a gentleman implores, "may I have this dance?"
into his eyes i assent entranced
swept off my feet ensnared by a glance

he spins me round and round
whispers in my ear, "don't look down"
we ascend farther and farther from the ground

his eyes are the windows to his soul
all of creation an encapsuled mold
of every tale both new and old

the universe is his perfect design
every sound and color a product of his mind
praise and adoration are mine

he dips me low and raises me high
the earth gets smaller as we climb
higher and higher into new life

bowing before my bridegroom king
i devote my abundant life to raising
a love divine, not one comparing

Reduction Destruction

Too often beauty is ignored and worth is denied

I am a diamond ring in a dingy dollar store

Chubby butterfingers try me on for size

Cheap plastic jewelry just won’t cut it anymore

Heart beats inside my chest like a toddler ready to purge dinner’s veggies

Chew me up and spit me out like plump, undesirable beets

How many licks to the center of the eye candy lollipop?

Until I’m just the worthless stick discarded in the street?

I’m sick at the though of banging anyone

because ordinarily that means pulling your trigger selfishly

over and over and over and over

You get what you want but throw away the hollow evidence

Using a body bag would be too dignified

The victim would first have to be recognized as human.

Like hard candy licked inside out

Like a piece of juiced fruit

You get your taste but what about the bruised peels that

pave your mushy path to satisfaction?

It’s temporary and insubstantial because once every corpse rots under your feet

you’ll sink

Drowning in a sea of lifeless, forgotten faces

Recognition drown out by your blood rushing through your ears

Now you hear nothing but the loneliest of silences-

the emptiness that comes from realizing you were wrong.

The reality of what you’ve done hits you but it’s too late

You’re knee deep ironically in your self destruction

And just like no one was there to rescue your victims from you

There’s no one around to save you.

This is Cynicism This is Life

One thing everyone knows but refuses to admit is that no one really knows anything. We’re all just winging it and we all start off the same. As children, we don’t know any better than our curiosity and contentment. Muddy and completely mad, we’re unreserved and uninhibited. The life of a child is messy but simpler than hopscotch. It’s concrete, scraped knees, a swiftly slapped Band-Aid, and a kiss from a parent. Adult life is more complex. It’s is a series of math problems that get more complicated with age and can’t be solved with a calculator or a Band-Aid. If only parents had parents to kiss their boo-boos all better. It takes a village to raise a child because that is way too much responsibility to place on any underqualified duo. We’re all underqualified- still children, no matter how long we’ve been wandering the Earth. Gravity seems to get heavier and every year our skin sags closer to the ground where most of us are buried. Wrinkles are a poor disguise for the child-like, wide-eyed, fearful ignorance that inhabits most people until they die. It’s a miracle we’ve survived, and preposterous to think there’s a God in heaven who let this freak show play on for so long without intervention. He did intervene. His Son’s name is Jesus Christ the Messiah, but the majority of the people he was sent to save reduce him to a mockery. The human brain isn’t capable of comprehending vastness. It’s much easier to stuff what we can of a universe into a box than to accept our significantly smaller size and inability to understand. Sometimes I wish it were only a dream. I wish for once to wake up without a sense of dread latching on and sucking the life out of me like a leech. I didn’t ask for this. We didn’t ask for anything, and yet here is this enormous gift called life sitting in humanity’s collective lap. The only sense I can make of it is that God knows something we don’t, and wants us to experience something we’re not capable of by ourselves. There is beauty and there is love out there for anyone with enough faith and hope to search for it.

Reflective Dystopia

Downward I spiral into nothing; a darkness so abysmal my very existence threatens to cease. I descend for what seems like an eternity- long enough for me to ponder this fate. I have fallen for so long I have forgotten what it feels like to stand and to breathe. A whisper creeps into my consciousness, “it’s only a dream.” I freeze, suspended in recollection. Prying my eyes open, I snap back into reality. Rising from my slumber, I am astounded by the brilliance of the utopia before my bewildered gaze. In front of me stands a girl. Her eyes instantly catch my attention. Storms rage around her pupils, betraying her smile. Her glare pierces my soul, and immediately I look away, to survey my surroundings. A wall that spans as far as the east is from the west separates me from the girl. Behind her is the healthiest, most vibrant pasture which my eyes have ever had the pleasure to feast. I remember the dismal state of the nightmare from which I awoke, and am content to never glance down or behind me. The girl looks at me with a contagious longing that fills me with the desire to surmount this obstruction that disconnects us. My body is initially oblivious to the enormity of the task. However, many moons pass and diligent blows deteriorate into sporadic banging. Just as I begin to lose hope, cracks appear. I beat with renewed strength and within moments the wall shatters. Glass rains for miles. Suddenly, I am alone and shaded by a lifeless gray. Behind the wall is nothing. No trace of the utopia, or the girl I had fought so hard to reach. Defeated, I peer down at one of the glass fragments at my feet, and discover a dumbfounded face that stares back at me with familiar storm gray eyes.

“Tree Hugger”

Tree Hugger
by Kimya Dawson
(Performed by Antsy Pants)

The flower said, "I wish I was a tree"
The tree said, "I wish I could be
A different kind of tree"
The cat wished that it was a bee
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky
Over rooftops and then dive
Deep into the sea

And in the sea there is a fish
A fish that has a secret wish
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it
And in the sea there is a fish
A fish that has a secret wish
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it

And the flower
Would be its offering
Of love to the desert
And the desert
So dry and lonely
That the creatures all
Appreciate the effort

Et le jackalope a dit
"Je voudrais être un yeti
Pour voler dans la nuit
Et m'en aller loin d'ici"
Mais le yeti a dit
"Je voudrais être un monstre marin 
Pour pouvoir rentrer dans la mer
De tous les requins"

And the rattlesnake said
"I wish I had hands so
I could hug you like a man"
And then the cactus said
"Don't you understand
My skin is covered with sharp spikes
That'll stab you like a thousand knives.
A hug would be nice
But hug my flower with your eyes"